Friday, January 11, 2008

Sometimes it pays to wake up early

You could wake up early and become $300 richer, okay, maybe not quite $300, but here's how you do it.
  • Wake up super early, futz around on the computer for a bit, then decide to go to the gym.
  • Look for your car, which was parked in front of your house when you came home the night before.
  • Believe that your car was stolen and call the police.
  • Listen to the cop tell you that your car wasn't stolen, but rather towed (intrigued? read on)
  • Call your good friend who will give you a ride to the police station, but not before you both walk over to Semifreddi's for some morning libations (you'll need it).
  • Send your husband a text message to let him know the scoop, but also to ask him to tell your son nothing of what's going on so he doesn't think his mom is a loser, or that cops are assholes.
  • Your husband assures you that you're not a loser, but you don't believe him.
  • Your friend will drive you to the police station, only to have them tell you you have to go to the DMV first to get your registration tags (which expired six months ago, but you were too lazy to deal with it)
  • Call City Car Share to reserve a car for you to drive that day so your friend doesn't have to cart you around.
  • Listen to CCS tell you that your account is suspended because of an invalid credit card number on file.
  • Remember that after your house was broken into last month, you changed all your accounts, but forgot to call CCS with your new card.
  • Give CCS a new card, but they'll tell you that it takes 24 hours to process. You ask them to expedite and they say they will see what they can do.
  • Your really good friend will drive you to the DMV and wait for you while you go inside.
  • The DMV agent will ask you for your license plate or VIN number.
  • Tell her you don't have it because it's in/on your car.
  • She'll let you know that your registration will not go through until you submit proof of car insurance, and even after you show proof, it won't be processed for 72 hours!
  • You let her know that you have car insurance and have had it this whole time.
  • She'll repeat that she has to have your plate or VIN number or she can't help you.
  • You'll call your husband and ask him, but he doesn't know those numbers either. Then he'll rummage around in the stack of papers to be filed and will find the VIN number.
  • He'll give you the string of 16 numbers.
  • Wait in line, only to have the agent tell you that you're missing a number.
  • Call your husband back, slightly peeved, and ask again for the number - BINGO, you get the missing number.
  • While waiting in line, call your other good friend to ask her to take your son to school - she agrees.
  • Get a message from CCS that your new card was processed and you can reserve a car now.
  • Give the DMV agent your 17-digit number and after she looks up your car, she confirms that you actually DO have insurance, AND the DMV owes you $300!
  • You get in the next line to get your new, rightful registration!
  • Happily, you come running out of the DMV (in less than 15 minutes) and your friend drives you back to the police station.
  • You pay your $100 to get your car out. You ask the police what they were doing looking at registration stickers at 2:40 in the morning. You remind them that your home was broken into less than a month ago, and ask if they have caught those thugs, or have anything better to do with their time. You don't get an answer.
  • Your friend drives you do the impound yard.
  • You pay your $225 fee and are at home with your registered car by 9:30am.
Okay, so actually, it turns out that you actually may come out $25 in the hole, but that's what happens sometimes when you wake up early, but do things later than you should.

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