The other day Lucas and I were in his playroom. I made a funny little clicking noise with my tongue.
Lucas: What was that noise?
Me: I don’t know. [I continued to click away]
Lucas: Mommy are you making that noise?
Me: No, it’s not me. [Continuing to click]
Lucas: Mommy, you’re lying to me. You shouldn’t lie, that’s terrible.
Me: I was just playing a joke.
Lucas: You didn’t tell me the truth, so that’s a lie and that’s bad.
He was very serious and although I was just joking I felt like I was sending him mixed messages. I need to watch myself. Then I thought of other little white lies I tell him on a somewhat regular basis.
When we’re out running errands and Lucas asks me to buy him a cookie.
The lie: Lucas, I don’t have money for a cookie.
The truths: Lucas, You’re being a butt-head and I’m not in the mood to do something nice for you right now; You’ve already had a [fill-in the sugary food] today; I don’t want to take you in and out of the car because that will take a lot of time.
When we’re in the car and Lucas asks for a bar (I keep a stash of Z bars in the car for emergencies)
The lie: I can’t open it, see it’s locked. (If we’re parked, I take my key and lock it in case he wants to try it for himself.) See, I can’t even open it with my key.
The truth: You can’t eat a bar every time you’re in the car, these are for emergencies only. (When I’ve used this excuse, his usual reply is “This is an emergency, I’m hungry.”)
When I catch Lucas picking his nose.
The lie: Lucas, don’t pick your nose. Remember the sharp-toothed snail. [Referencing a poem in “Where the Sidewalk Ends”, warning kids not to pick their nose or else the sharp-toothed snail will eat their finger.] Sometimes I may even recount an episode when the snail bit my nail off, for added effect.
The truth: It’s gross. (When I tell him this, he just continues to do it. He thinks gross things are funny.)
When Lucas asks to watch the Incredible Machine video on YouTube.
The lie: The computer is closed for the night; The computer battery is charging.
The truth: I don’t want to sit there for the full 9 minutes to watch the darn video.
When Lucas asks for the nth story of the day about the Island of Sodor.
The lie: The Island is closed for the day. How about a different story?
The truth: If I have to make up one more story about Sir Topham Hatt and the enigmatic Cuddle Mavel, I may throw up.
And the list goes on...